The Saheli Saree showroom was very crowded today. It was a holiday, festivals were approaching, so the market was crowded. Seven-eight salesmen in the showroom were showing sarees to the customers. One of them, Suresh, was also showing sarees to a woman. He had piled up thirty-forty sarees of different types, but that madam did not like any of them. That sister had been looking at the sarees for an hour but was not taking any decision. Now Suresh was also bored.
While looking at a saree, the sister asked. Isn’t there a purple saree in this design? Suresh said, “Madam, here is the purple saree. I showed you just now.” Saying this, he showed the purple saree again from below. So the madam said, “No, no. Not this one, this one has net. I don’t want a net saree.” Suresh said with boredom, Madam, the fashion is only in net now. The design you are asking for is not available in simple synthetic sarees. So again that sister said, “Hey, what’s wrong? The sister next to me brought it just last week. I am telling you because I have seen it. Why don’t you say you don’t have it?” Suresh got a little irritated. “Madam, we have such a variety that is not available anywhere in the entire market. The design you have seen must be in net, not in synthetic.” Seeing all this arguing, the shop owner Bhaveshbhai immediately came to Suresh and said;
“What is the matter Suresh? What do you want Madam?” So Suresh said, “They want this design in synthetic sarees. Since this design is only available in net, I refuse, but Madam is not ready to accept it.”
Right there, the lady spoke up, “If it’s wrong, how can I believe it?” So Bhaveshbhai told Suresh, “Suresh, what Madam said is true. This design is also available in synthetic. But we don’t have it.” Suresh was very surprised.
The lady immediately spoke up. “Look, didn’t I say that?” Then, “You are right,” Bhaveshbhai said, adding, Madam, we don’t have that kind of saree.
Keep giving your contact number at the counter. If it comes, we will let you know. Tell me something else? So the lady said, “No problem, if not, then pack that pink color one with silver bagta?”
When the madam took the saree, Suresh said to Bhaveshbhai, “Do you also Bhaveshbhai, where does that design come from in a synthetic saree? Why did you lie, Seth?”
Bhaveshbhai said, “Suresh, I also know that that design does not come from a synthetic saree. There is no question of right or wrong, but was there any point in arguing with that madam? If I had not intervened, your face-to-face arguments would have lasted another fifteen minutes. And what would we do to waste time on such a fuss? And if the arguments had gone on longer, that sister would have also gotten irritated. I told you that you were right, so I kept quiet and took another saree. Otherwise, time would have been wasted and business would not have been done.” Suresh understood this perfectly.
Don’t we also get into arguments again and again?
Have we ever thought about what we achieve after those arguments or arguments?
If the person in front of you is trying to prove that his/her opinion is wrong, then instead of getting into an argument, let him/her prove that he/she is right.
No matter how right our opinion is, arguing or getting into an argument never wins the other person’s heart, and if you pay attention to the things we argue or argue about, you will be surprised. Here are some of them.
Will the train arrive on time or not, should some columnist write what he wrote in the newspaper today or not? Should Pranab Mukherjee come as the President or should he come in company? Did one person say something or another? Is so-and-so’s decision right or wrong? Should Amitabh Bachchan work in some advertisement or not? Is it better to be religious or secular… etc. etc.
People often get so heated in the debates on all these matters that they forget who the other person is, what their relationship is with him. The reason behind this is – people’s love for their own opinion. Love for their own beliefs. Actually, it should be called infatuation instead of love.
If we are smart people, then when a certain person starts arguing with us about something, we should immediately understand that that person is unknowingly introducing you to his ‘infatuation’. He is giving you an idea of what he is infatuated with. Now if you accept his charm, then instead of opposing you, he will come in your favor.
In the world, everything good and bad is decided by humans and that too changes from person to person. Therefore, there is no need to believe that what I believe is true. And if what we believe is true, it is not necessary that the other person also believes the same. The facts do not change because people believe or not.
Therefore, not getting into a dispute for our belief or opinion or for what we understand to be true is wisdom. Staying away from disputes is not cowardice.
A great man has rightly said that the best way to win a dispute is to stay away from disputes. When you have to lose in a dispute, let the other person win. By letting him win, you are actually the winner. And even by winning a dispute, you have not really gained anything.
It was the occasion of my daughter Neha’s wedding. A few days ago, an astrologer told my wife that since your daughter is getting married in Kamurta, you will have to undergo some rituals before the wedding. My wife told me that we should get this ritual done or else there will be some trouble. At that time, a dozen arguments came to my mind in the sixth part of an hour. However, I did not say anything. I thought about what the result of arguing now might be and then said, “No problem. We will get it done in a few days.” My wife became calm,
After a few days, sensing her mood, I said, “You were asking me to get that ritual done, but don’t you think that we should donate the five to seven thousand rupees spent on that ritual to an organization that works for the helpless and the blessings it receives will do even better work?” So my wife said, “You are right. I also feel the same way. There is no need to get the ritual done, we will donate it to the needy.”
Now what if I had argued with him beforehand? I would have told him, “There is no need to perform such a ceremony. There is no such thing as a hindrance or an improvement. Etc. etc….” Then? Then he would have made stronger arguments. I had new arguments ready in response. But arguments never end. In the end, both sides lose. Both waste their time and energy and nothing comes of it.
Therefore, stay away from arguing. Let the other side win the argument. That is your victory. I believe that even if we have developed the skill of making the best arguments, it is still wise not to argue. It is greatness. Therefore, avoid disputes.
Secondly, even if the person who loses to you in an argument has lost, his opinion or opinion has not changed at all. It is said that –
“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”
When you make someone understand something, how much joy you feel inside! But have you ever thought what you have achieved? A person who does not argue gets the blessings of even his enemies. Arguing has never changed anyone’s thoughts, on the contrary, the person in front of you becomes more stubborn. Our distance with him increases.
The person in front of you is arguing to prove his superiority or rightness. If you accept that superiority, he is immediately ready to give up his opinion. If you stick to your opinion, you will lose the person. Decide what is more important to you? – Opinion or person? When you let the person in front of you win in an argument, you will actually have won his heart,
What would you like to win? Argument or heart? If you want to win the heart, avoid argument.