Do this, Vishwa was a young businesswoman. She had developed her own independent export-import business at a young age with the help of her skills. She used to get a lot of orders for handicrafts from abroad. And she used to import perfumes in large quantities from other countries. Everything was going well. She had a staff of twenty-five people in her office.
However, her staff had become a headache for her now. There was a lot of anger among the staff towards the management. There were arguments over salaries. There was dissatisfaction with the working hours. And there were many other things. Another thing was that no one liked to follow the ‘system’ of work that was created to run the business smoothly.
Finally, Vishwa transferred the office manager Tanvi to her office in another city and appointed Janakbhai as the new manager.
Vishwa had a habit of calling one of her employees to her every few days and asking her how everything was going in the office. When Vishwa asked four or five staff members the second month after Janakbhai’s appointment, “How is everything going?”, they all said the same thing, “It’s going well, madam. Janakbhai is a very good man. And he helps us a lot.”
Actually, Janakbhai had not helped anyone directly. He had only done one thing. He had spent three or four hours with each person in the office, from the office clerk to the executive head, talking to them. If you look at it this way, it couldn’t even be called talking. Actually, Janakbhai had listened to him. He had listened carefully. He knew the details of their talks meticulously. He let out whatever was in the minds of the people. He listened to their anger, listened to their opposition. He listened to their suffering.
Due to this, Janakbhai started getting the cooperation of the people. Now Janakbhai could do his work better. And all this happened because Janakbhai listened to the people.
That is what people really want.
Everyone wants someone to listen to them.
When you listen to the people, they praise you even if you do nothing else. People are ready to sacrifice themselves for us, but are we ready to listen to them? Be it business, family matters or public life, if you listen to the people, you will get a lot of cooperation.
A successful politician must have this quality. He listens to the people, listens to his opponents, listens to party workers and even listens to government officials. Because of that, everyone feels like they are ‘theirs’.
When I was working as a doctor in Saudi Arabia, there was more crowd outside my chamber than the chambers of other doctors in that hospital. Even if it took longer due to the crowd, patients insisted on telling me about their health. Why did this happen? I would listen to the pain, suffering, etc. with interest, which made the patient feel relieved because I would listen to each patient’s suffering calmly and attentively. They would get relief right there and then.
Our hospital director Dr. Talal also liked this special feature of mine. He made it a rule for other doctors who used to send the patient away in five minutes that the patient should not leave your chamber before fifteen minutes.
When we listen to someone carefully, its impact is much greater than we imagine. Even now, I listen carefully to the people who come to me for counseling. Due to which they also get relieved and I also get to know more about them so that you can help them better.
Just by listening to people, you leave a very good impression in their minds. Because they have a desire that we listen to them. – Which is fulfilled by us.
Why do people want someone to listen to them?! This is a special point to think about.
Don’t you think that people’s lives are getting faster day by day? Is the race increasing? Is the hurry and hustle increasing? In this speed, rush, hurry and hustle, people do not have time to tell anyone about themselves, their thoughts, their troubles or confusions. And maybe even if the person who tells them has time, they do not have time to listen to others. As a result, their minds become more and more full. Everyone in the family is busy, friends are busy. Where can they pour out their minds? And in such a situation, if you listen to him carefully, that emptiness gets emptied, that person enjoys this so much that he doesn’t ask questions.
So, make people a habit of listening.
One of my trainer friends – Rajiv Bhalani, I have written some books together. We both also take some workshops together. During those workshops, I have seen that when Rajivbhai is explaining a topic from the stage and someone from the audience asks a question or presents something, Rajivbhai listens to it very patiently and attentively. Even during the break, people gather around him in a crowd. And Rajivbhai listens to him very carefully. If someone does not understand something or has some difficulty or personal problem, he listens to it very calmly and with concentration. He tries to get to the root of the matter. Due to which he is very much respected among the people. Only a trainer who can develop the skill of listening attentively to his or her audience can give them complete satisfaction and be successful.
This principle applies equally to every profession. The investment of our time in listening to people. It pays off many times over in the future. Increase that investment. Listen to people carefully.
You may have experienced that some people first ask our advice on something and then as soon as we say something, they immediately start talking about themselves, which is exactly what happens. Why does this happen? Because people do not get a chance to say their own thing. If you can guess, you can give it. You may have heard a joke, that – a woman went to the doctor with her husband, the doctor asked, “Speak, what is the problem?” Then the woman said – “Sir, my husband mumbles in his sleep at night. Give him some medicine.” Immediately the doctor said, “He does not need medicine, sir, give him a chance to talk during the day.”
Most of the people with whom we have to do business look for such an opportunity. When we listen to them, they get a lot of relief.
Regarding the employees of government departments of water, sewerage, electricity, telephone etc., the public feels that no one listens to them. If you ask the employees, they will say, the superiors do not listen to us, if you ask the superiors, they will say, the officials do not listen to us. This trail of ‘not listening’ reaches all the way to the top.
Let people vent. Let them say what they want to say. Your work will be easy. A salesman who can listen carefully to the person in front of him can sell better than a salesman who talks continuously. To become a good salesman, one needs to be a good listener. In the training programs that big industrial houses also hold for their management staff, special training in ‘listening skills’ is given.
This principle should be especially implemented in the family. Especially in married life, when there is heartache between husband and wife, at the root of it there are often many things that the husband or wife wants to say, but his spouse does not have the time or is not ready to listen to them. Even if he does listen, he listens attentively. A friend of mine goes for a walk with his wife every evening. While going for a walk, he follows one rule without fail, he remains silent most of the time while walking. He lets his wife do the talking. He takes an interest in what his wife says and just listens attentively. All the small and big things of his wife come out in the conversation. She becomes relaxed. Good things also come out, and overall the atmosphere in the house remains completely calm.
The biggest need to listen to people is in our own home. People complain about the generation gap, that is, the gap between two generations has increased, and this is also the root cause. Young sons, daughters, and daughters-in-law are not interested or do not have time to listen to the stories of their elderly parents. Due to which the gap between the two generations increases. Since the grandparents have time, the children happily tell them everything in detail and the grandfather or grandmother enjoys listening to them calmly. They also ask questions in between.
Since the children also have time, they enjoy listening to the old stories of the grandparents. The child also asks, “Hey grandfather, was it like this when you were young? Was it like this when you were young? And the grandparents also enjoy telling their stories to their grandchildren.” The desire may also be to talk to the son, but that is in the market…
This is why the relationship between grandchildren and grandfathers is closer, more sincere, more alive than that between father and son. – Because here, there is someone who listens to what they say on both sides. They are also ready to listen.
Listen to your elderly parents especially. Listen carefully. Encourage them to say more. Keep the life inside them alive. Remember, tomorrow we too will grow old. If we can spend hours watching the ‘news channel’ of TV, can’t we also spend some time to know the ‘news’ of our elderly parents?
Our children learn not from what we say but from what we do. Therefore, develop the habit of listening to people carefully. The regret of how much less work we could do at home today or how much less work we could do in business today is not very big, but the regret of the increased distance in relationships does not allow a person to live peacefully till death.
When people come with complaints, this principle of listening to them works very well. If we jump in between instead of letting them speak, then their complaints double. Only after the complaints in that person’s mind are completely revealed, what you say has an effect on them. – But even among those who are highly intelligent or have high degrees, most people ignore this matter. Even if this much is understood, people’s minds can be ruled.
Everyone, from the ordinary to the extraordinary, is eager to share their stories with others. Encourage the people around you to tell their stories. Provide a good atmosphere for them to present their stories. Listen to them with full attention and concentration. Ask them questions every now and then that they enjoy answering.
Just try this. You will become very dear to them. And who doesn’t like to be liked by a very dear person?
Therefore, listen to people carefully.