Suketu was travelling in the AC chauffeured coach of the Shatabdi Express. The train left Vadodara station. In the train moving at full speed, Suketu was quietly sipping his coffee. After finishing his coffee, he looked out the window at the beautiful scenery. A gentleman who had come from Vadodara was sitting on the seat next to him. He was also passing the time by reading a magazine. At that moment, someone’s call came and the brother started talking on the phone. Hearing his voice, Suketu’s attention turned to the unknown man. Suketu was also listening to what the brother was talking on the phone. Suketu’s eyes were outside the window but the words of the person next to him were falling on his ears. When he finished talking, Suketu looked at him. When the brother’s eyes fell on Seketu, Suketu said, –
“Good morning sir, I could hear what you were talking about on the phone just now. I especially wanted to tell you that your language is really very pure. Such pure Gujarati language is rarely heard these days.”
“Oh! Thank you, brother.” As he said this, an energetic smile came on his face. He asked Suketu about his introduction and expressed his gratitude for the selfless praise. Then a lot of talk went on. Suketu came to know that his name was Amit Desai. He was in the motel business in California. And he was the owner of seven big motels. Both of them kept talking….
It has been about ten years since that talk. Now Suketu has also settled in California. He is the owner of 16 motels. He is a successful businessman, and his senior partner is Mr. Amit Desai.
Remember ten years ago. After Shatabdi Express’s visit to Suketu, Amit Desai gradually got an idea of the quality of businessman inside Suketu in the following days and he later called Suketu to America, handed over the management and gradually made him a partner.
But what was the reason behind Amitbhai’s interest in Suketu?
The answer is. – Appreciation, true appreciation.
Did Suketu praise Amitbhai deliberately? Was there any desire to gain any benefit behind that appreciation? Was it selfishness? No. He didn’t even know Amitbhai. He liked a quality of the person sitting next to him and praised him because he liked it. He just told the person in front of him that I liked this quality of yours.
But how good was the result of that?
Suketu’s life has become!
We have to admit that we have often missed such progress or big benefits. We miss out on that benefit even though we deserve it. And the reason for this is that we miss out on appreciation.
Appreciate the praiseworthy qualities of the other person, the things that seem good to you, the aspects of their personality that you like. We should not praise or flatter anyone falsely, but we must praise what is worthy of appreciation. If you develop this habit, in a short time you will be able to gain the love of many people and your work will start becoming easier.
Every person has a hunger for appreciation in their mind. Not everyone works to get appreciation, but when the work is done well, the expectation of appreciation arises from within. If you can recognize this expectation of the other person and fulfill it, then you can easily get the cooperation of people.
When I was in college, I told a beautiful girl at a party, “You look very beautiful…” She frowned and said, “Thank you. But I’m sorry, I can’t say that for you…” In response, I said, “No problem, then lie like me…” Although this was a joke. But overall, every person wants praise. The hunger for praise is the biggest hunger of mankind. Once I went to a VIP’s sitting room. There, outside the sitting room, there were big posters showing the achievements of that person in life. A diary was also kept in the hall in which everyone had to write about that VIP. What else were people supposed to write in it besides praise? If praise is so important even after death, then how much more is there in life? I am not writing this here in a critical manner, but I want to say that recognize the natural human hunger for praise and keep giving praise.
If we can praise the deceased in a tribute program, why can’t we do it while he is alive? If we had praised him while he was alive, maybe five more years would have been added to his life.
What are the hymns of God? Hymns only praise God. Right? If you feel that God needs praise, don’t your family, friends, employees? God may not hear our praise or not, but our family members have both ears open to hear praise twenty-four hours a day. They crave that praise. Why does a wife ask her husband, “How do I look?” after wearing a new dress? Why does a child ask his mother, “How did it turn out?” after drawing a picture? We do not rise by praising God who does not need it, and we crave the praise that…
Govind Sharma is the owner of a fertilizer company. His company also makes pesticides and seeds. Every year, the company organizes a state-wise program. On that day, they invite all the distributors of the state. The program starts with tea and snacks in the morning in the conference hall of a good hotel and lunch and evening tea and snacks are also held there. In this program, information about the company’s new products is mainly given, the market situation is discussed, new schemes for purchasing products, etc. are discussed. But in the entire program, Govindji Sharma gives a speech for only 40-45 minutes. In which, instead of saying anything about himself or the company, he praises twelve to fifteen distributors who have sold more goods in the past year. Govindji must have discovered some good personal qualities of that distributor. Along with that, he praises them too. In total, it happens that advance orders worth crores of rupees are booked that same day in the evening. The most important role in this entire business meeting is played by the talk of Govindji. It is because of the genuine appreciation in his talk that he wins the hearts of the distributors.
Appreciation actually means taking conscious note of the good work done by someone and appreciating that work wholeheartedly. Appreciation is a positive thing. Yet people avoid giving praise.
Have you ever thought, why do people avoid praising others? People are not ready to praise someone easily, there are mainly three reasons behind it. (1) Personal ego is hurt. (2) Fear of letting the other person down due to praise and (3) “What’s the big surprise in that?” kind of feeling. We assume that.
But it is especially necessary to remember this, – (1) If you praise even by going above your ego, then it is okay to benefit but you will get deep satisfaction. (2) Praising does not let the other person down, on the contrary, it encourages him to work better. The fear of being cheated is only in flattery. And (3) Whether the work is small or big, if it is done well, it is worthy of praise.
Just think about it, when you do a good deed, how much does your enthusiasm increase if you are praised? It is the same with others. Therefore, if you want to make many friends and be truly happy, praise people from the heart. In my seminars, I often say that if you start distributing the things that are in short supply in the society, then the society will turn on you.
There is a shortage of praise in the society right now. Therefore, if you open the festival of praise, you will be able to fill the nectar of enthusiasm in the lives of many.
Kavita always tells her husband that – “My thoughts changed only after I got married and came to this house. Earlier, I used to have very negative thoughts, but after living with you, my thoughts changed completely.” What do you think? Doesn’t her husband really feel proud after hearing this? Can there be dislike or resentment towards each other in such a marriage?
Many people argue about compliments, saying, “You are right, but no one compliments us.”
When we hear this, we regret that our way of thinking has not changed yet. There is no need to associate compliments with whether we receive compliments or not. If you do that, you will really lose the joy of life. The real joy is in complimenting and reaping the harvest that grows after being complimented. If you are not being complimented, then you must especially compliment other people, the experience of which is unique.
Do not miss praising your wife, mother, sister, sister-in-law or anyone else who has cooked and made you feel that way. That is also our duty. Many people do not praise the person who cooked the food even after being robbed of the boundless joy of food. They do not even say, ‘It was fun!!’ You will understand the magic of true praise when you make it a habit. I have made it a habit over the years that no matter where I go to eat, I never leave without praising the chef for his skill. And that praise is true. (Do you like one or two of the dishes?) If you think I am wrong, invite me to your house for dinner once and make sure. Husbands and wives believe that cooking good food is the wife’s duty, so why should they praise you? But friends, if you do your duty well and someone praises you for it, wouldn’t you be happy?
I have seen examples of people leaving their homes because they did not hear a word of appreciation from their family for years, and I have also seen cases of a change of heart due to a small compliment. Lack of appreciation also creates inferiority complex. Every person has something that is superior to us. So find it and praise them for it. Women, men, children and the elderly of every country, every caste want appreciation. And they deserve it too. So open your mind, start praising people truly. Great people have also adopted this quality.
You too adopt it and then see the fun…
Praise people from the heart.