Rahul and his college friends had planned a program together. With the aim of creating awareness among the people of the city about tree plantation and environment, they had planned a nice program in the town hall. Sponsorship was also obtained for the expenses of the program. All the details of the program were ready. The day of the program was approaching, preparations were going on in full swing.
Three days before the program, Rahul and all the friends gathered in the canteen. Today, everyone had to distribute the work. Rahul was the leader of everyone. Although everyone worked as per Rahul’s instructions, Priya was a little arrogant. It was very difficult to get the work done with her. Priya used to get angry in conversation and also used to argue a lot. The members of the stage decoration team for the town hall program had been decided and Priya was to take over the captaincy of that team.
The time of the program was in the morning, we could have reached the hall a little early in the morning and decorated it, but if we were a little early or late, the program would be delayed. Rahul was worried about this. Also, Priya was the captain of the decoration team, so Rahul’s worry increased. Priya needed to be instructed to finish the work on time. But she was going to do her own thing.
Rahul took on the task a little differently. Meeting Priya, he talked to her, “Priya, instead of rushing your team for decoration early in the morning, can the decoration be done the next day at night? What do you think?” After thinking for two or four seconds, a smile came on Priya’s face. She said, “Yes Rahul, it’s a great idea, by doing the decoration the next day at night, everyone will be relaxed from the next morning and the next day’s decoration work can also be done comfortably till late.”
And this is how the work was done.
Rahul wanted to get the decorations done the next day, but what if he had spoken in the form of an order? Then Priya would have been completely furious. But what did Rahul do? Instead of saying, “Do the decorations the next day,” he said, “Can the decorations be done the next day?” That’s the only difference. You can do this too. Adopt this different method of giving orders, no one is interested in following someone else’s orders, so present the matter in this way, “Can it be done this way?”. It will work even more effectively than giving orders.
From above, Rahul also said, “Priya, you have to get the decorations done the night before in the best possible way, but what if some fresh flowers are arranged on the table on the stage early the next morning?” So Priya immediately replied cheerfully, “You leave all that worry to me now, everything will be fine. Two or three of us will come early in the morning and finish the fresh flower decorations on time.” Why did Priya get such good cooperation? Because of Rahul’s new method of giving orders.
Giving orders directly to people hurts their self-esteem. Instead of giving direct orders, stimulate the creativity in the other person through this new method. Give them a chance to make the best decision in their own way. – Then there will be no need to give orders. This method also encourages the other person to correct his mistakes and even the rebels start cooperating.
People who do not know the art of winning people’s hearts make one mistake again and again. And that is, the mistake of giving orders. They give orders only for the work they want to do, but they do not even realize that how much easier the work becomes by changing the way of giving orders a little!
Harishbhai is very aware of this matter. His son is studying in the tenth standard. He gets very bored of studying. He has a good memory, but if he reads, will he remember? He spends the whole day in a crowd, studies quietly for an hour or so, then sits down to watch TV as if he is very tired and then barely passes the school test. Due to the anxiety of the results, Harishbhai and his wife used to give their son the orders of “sit down and read” – “sit down and read” all day long. But the results were zero.
But now Harishbhai decided to start talking to his son in a different way. One day, while talking to his son about exams and studies, he said, “Son, do you have any new ideas to get marks in the upcoming exam?” This question had the expected effect. The wheels of thought started moving in the son’s mind. And his seriousness for studies increased. It affected the exam. What is the psychological reason behind this?
In the above case, you saw that instead of giving a direct order, the thing was said in such a way that the other person started thinking about it. When someone thinks for themselves, the work is done better than when they are ordered.
The manager of a dairy complained that the employees of his dairy work in a haphazard manner. Sometimes, two different employees do the same cleaning job twice, and some jobs are left out altogether. When the staff of one shift completes their shift, they do not give complete information while assigning the work to the people of the other shift, and this and other mistakes like this happen. Due to this, the work is delayed. He thought of collecting the money and giving clear orders to the other employees. But then he realized that in this way, many gods have given all the necessary information about their work from today, but the orders are not being effective.
After calling a meeting and giving some concrete examples of best communication, the manager took a new approach. He told the employees and then everyone, “If we assume, we can make our work easier. I want to know from you whether each employee should give the right information about their work to the employee on the next shift? Will it make a difference?” – and as if magic happened. Everyone started saying, “Yes, sir. Everyone must give information, and it will definitely make a difference. It will take some time, but our work will become easier, work will be done more accurately and time will be saved.”
The manager was able to hear what he wanted to say from the employees’ mouths. What could be better than this? But let me remind you again why this happened? The answer is, by adopting this new way of giving orders instead of giving direct orders, the questions “Can this be done?”, “Will doing this make a difference?” etc. worked.
You may also have had the experience that sometimes you are thinking of doing something, you are ready to do it, but if someone else orders you to do it, you do not like it at all. If you remember, you will realize that you have done many things suggested by others so far, but if that person had asked you to do that thing in the form of an order, would you have done that thing?
The same is true of others. No one likes orders. Therefore, adopt this new way of giving orders where it is necessary to give orders.
If you want to give orders in the best way, then pay special attention to these two things. People will do your work happily.
(1) People work only if they feel the need to do it, so instead of directly assigning the work, first ask yourself the question, “What can I do to make them feel the need to do it?” Create a ‘need’ in the other person’s mind to do that thing. Let them feel that doing that thing is necessary for them. Then they will do it willingly.
(2) You must have seen that when a singer does a stage program to earn money, many times more money is collected when he does a charity show. – Why? Because people are interested in some kind of noble intention. Attach a truly noble goal to the work you want to get done, people will not have to give orders.
Divyaben, who is involved in network marketing of household items, complained to Amitabh, one of her distributors, saying, “Madam, I don’t understand what to do. Despite all the hard work, sales are not increasing. The distributors in my team do not work with the interest they should have. I am fed up.”
Divyaben felt like saying, – “If you spend money, your business will increase, right? If you are not getting business in your village, increase your work in another village.” But he immediately controlled his mind and said to Amitabh, – “I have two ideas to grow your business.” So Amitabh eagerly asked – “What ideas? Tell me quickly, madam.”
So Divyaben said, “Amitaben, if possible, you need to increase your expenses a little. Because if you spend money and train your distributors in sales, it can make a difference in their sales, and secondly, if possible, you should gradually increase your network of distributors in other cities besides your village. Your village is small, so if possible, start a business in other cities as well.”
Thus, by using the phrase ‘if possible’ two or three times, Amitabh also started thinking about that possibility and was ready for it. But if Divyaben had directly ordered that. “Spend the money on training the distributors” and “start working in other villages too”, Amitabh would have made many excuses. And he would not have thought about Divyaben’s words.
So adopt a new way of giving orders. Present the matter differently. Orders can also be given in the tone of a request. I always take work from people who can be ordered without giving orders. Even if it is the duty of the other person to ignore your order, give that order in a different way. By giving orders, by leaving orders, the person does the work but does it as part of that duty. There is no vitality in that work.
So instead of giving direct orders, try a new way of giving orders.
1 thought on “A Risky Way to Rule”